Brewster’s Billion – 12 Mind-blowingly Creative Ways to Blow a £1Billion (Infographic)

Depending on your age, you may have seen the 80’s film Brewster’s Millions in which Richard Prior is issued the challenge of spending $30 million in 30 days… so he can inherit $300 million.

That doesn’t sound like too much of a challenge nowadays. And so for a bit of fun in these hard times, the Loanable content team have updated the model and taken a look at 12 ways to outlandishly burn through a billion pounds. And we’ve made it into a fun infographic for your enjoyment too.


***Brewster’s Competition – Win a Bitcoin***

We are inviting all readers of this post to send in their 10 most fun ways to blow a billion pounds. (Don’t worry – no need for illustrations!)

We will then decide on the top 3 who will win the following prizes:

1/ A Bitcoin!!!

2/ An iPhone 8!!

3/ A drone!

The only rules are:

No investing the money or giving it away. And no gambling or buying the same type of thing twice. So just the one private island then!

The more detail you can go into the better, but remember it’s meant to be fun, not forensic accountancy!

Please also give a brief description of how your spending adds up in each transaction.

 

Brewster's Billion Competition

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1) Create Your Own Country

We realised we’d also need to decide what type of regime we’d want to create. A military dictatorship or a parliamentary democracy? (The latter, probably. At least at first) We’d also need to build government buildings – and possibly a personal palace for sheer indulgence. An island ought to probably have a naval fleet to protect its sovereignty, too – but we threw caution to the wind and just went with an army. We would also, of course, need our own currency. Ours would be called: “The Colin”

Spending

We based our spending on a 3 year plan
Cost of army is based on a 1000 man standing army. This is estimated to cost around £45 million for the first year, £30m for the year after, and £30m the year after that (£105m)
Costs of roads and infrastructure to create a mini town in our country is around £90m.
Total cost rounded up to £200m.


2) Offer Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin £50m each to Wrestle

The two men recently moved closer to becoming if not allies then at least not sworn enemies. But maybe they can step on to the mat in the name of charity. There’s nothing in our rules that says people can’t give away the money that we pay to them. However, the odds may be stacked in the President of Russia’s favour since as well as being an accomplished ice hockey player (and of course bare-chested horse rider) Putin apparently has Judo prowess, too. But as with Trump’s skills on the golf course and North Korea’s claims that Kim Jong-Il Invented The Hamburger, this may just be propaganda.

Spending

£100m cost is at our discretion. There’s no market rate for Heads of State grappling!


3) Pay Morgan Freeman to appear in a Biopic of your Life to be Written and Directed by Quentin Tarantino

We’re excited by the idea of how Tarantino would play out the rest of our natural life. And since Freeman’s being us, it means we would insist on being cast as a side kick… of our self. Tarantino is partial to having his actors perform their own extremely dangerous stunts which almost led to Uma Thurman dying in a car crash during the making of Kill Bill. So we might meet our end in real life before we get killed off in the screenplay.

Spending

We estimate that Tarantino would usually receive around £15m to write and direct.
But we figure he’ll need a sweetener to get him to make a film about us / Colin, so we’re adding £10m. Morgan Freeman earned around £23m in 2013. We estimate taking up 10 weeks of his time. So pro rata, that’s about £5m. We’re also giving him a £10m sweetener.
We estimate a production budget of around £40m, having looked at films in a comparable bracket
Total cost £80m


4) Commission a Life-Sized Remote Controlled T-Rex.

This would be the closest anyone could get to a real life version of Jurassic Park. It’s estimated that T-Rex’s could run at almost 30km/h which would be pretty awesome to emulate in our toy. Ideally, we’d then find someone else who could compete with our spending and commission their own T-Rex so we could have epic, remote-controlled dinosaur fights.

Spending

This is fairly subjective, depending on the spec. of the dinosaur design. Our £10m cost is based on conversations with those in the robot and toy fields.


5) Pay the Rolling Stones to play for You and You alone

This would be a chance to one-up oligarchs and the mega-rich who pay A-List acts to play for hundreds of people. But, as far as know, never for just one. If you’re thinking about blowing part of your billion on a band, may be more inclined to hire Rhianna for a cool £6 mil. Or if you’re looking to save a few quid, you could always plug for Noughties throwback, Nickelback. Yours for around £500k. But in all honesty, that’s not how billionaires should roll.

Spending

£6m is based on the actual, approximate cost of hiring the band – as cited in online articles


6) Burn It

The KLF apparently effectively bankrupted themselves by doing this. One of its 2 members, Bill Drummond, has also said his children found it somewhat hard to comprehend that their inheritance literally went up in flames. We’ll definitely score our competition entrants highly for coming up with elaborate, outlandish and expensive pranks and publicity stunts!

Spending

£1m is the actual cost of the pecuniary pyromania


7) Buying a Florida Lakeside Home and Filling the Lake with Viagra

Would this make fish horny, as well? We don’t really want to find out the answer, since we do not advocate the actual polluting of lakes. This is a flight of fictional fancy! We were, however, interested to learn that an estimated 4.3 million men in the UK suffer from some form of erectile dysfunction. And it was somewhat surprising to discover that since 2011, the US military has spent $295 million on viagra as part of healthcare for current and former troops. No wonder it has one of the biggest defence budgets on the planet.

Spending

We estimate buying a lakeside house for £800,00. The viagra to pollute the lake is estimated to cost around £400,000

Total £1.2m


8) Visit the Islands of Swimming Pigs with a group of 30 Family and Friends

One of the unsubstantiated rumours behind the presence of the pigs is that a conspiracy theorist introduced them (and himself) to the island, fearing a computer crash armageddon on 1st January 2000. The pig hoarder’s plan, so the story goes, was to live a subsistence live on the land as the rest of the world was destroyed by technology and the illuminati (Maybe it will still happen one day)

Spending

A (pretty damn cool) private jet: London to Miami (return) would cost around £300,000

Private Jet hire for Miami to Nassau (return) plus boat hire from Nassau to Pig Island (return) would cost around £250,000
Mansion rental in Miami for a week would cost £100,000 (for the one we want to stay in anyway)
You’ve got to let your 30 guests live large so let’s say they each get £4k spends per day for 7 nights which comes to £840k
Total £1.5m approx


9) Pay for Re-Forestation in Indonesia to help Save the Tiger and create a Tourist Safari Site

The total number of tigers has dropped by 95% since the start of the 20th century. This is predominantly down to poaching so that their skin can be used for garments and their body parts can be used in expensive, unproven medicines. There are, in fact, now more tigers living as (often illegal) pets than there are in the wild. Hopefully, the World Wildlife Federation can succeed in its plan which was set out at The Summit of the Tiger (cool name) to double their numbers by 2022.

Payment

We’re plugging for £300 million, but the sky’s the limit. Billions could be spent on saving the tiger.


10) Start a Luxury Resort for Single Over 65’s

“Help the aged” as Jarvis Cocker from Pulp once sang. And while there are plenty of old people who would tell you to sod off and mind your own business, there are lots who would welcome the chance to meet new people. As it stands, there are lots of “retirement communities” where the highlights are a cafeteria and a weekly game of bingo. Not that there’s anything wrong with bingo, but we reckon our heavily-subsidised haven represents a serious upgrade.

Payment

We envisage a pimp resort being built in the Caribbean. Comparable projects cost a similar amount to our projection.

Total £200m


11) Pay Ted Danson to Spend the Rest of his Natural Life with you

We recently discovered that the beer Danson and his cohorts swirled on during Cheers episodes wasn’t a complete fake but contained between 3-4% alcohol – which is about the same as a Bud Light. This means that while the cast weren’t necessarily sozzled, the endless takes in which they sipped beer may well have kept them merry. From Cheers and his other outings, Ted Danson managed to accumulate an estimated £47million, so we’re proposing to more than double his net worth.

Spending

Hard to quantify what price Ted Danson places on his freedom, so we grant that the figure is somewhat subjective!

Total £100.3m


12) Re-Build your Local Pub on the Moon

If the hotel development that is planned for the moon happens, it’ll apparently cost $60million per person per month – which is the minimum stay. Its guests would be our pubs only punters and it’s a good job they have deep pockets as transportation costs mean a pint of beer would initially cost about £1.75 million pounds. We would propose a special lunchtime offer of soup, sandwich and a beer for £2.5 million or you could graze on a bag of peanuts for £1.35 million.

Spending

Like we say, there might not be enough dough to fund the trip back from the moon. NASA’s estimate for a “cheap” Moon Hub is £4.65billion

Total £1bn


***Competition Time***
Enter Below

***Our Best Entries so Far***

Buy myself a library (a big one)

1. Buy myself a library (a big one); 2. Get a jet and visit all the countries I only ever dreamed to go and take my siblings with me; 3. Give a Royal Caribbean trip to my parents and a brand new house; 4. Go on a 10 days trip for the girls with ALL we could want included. Mom, grandma, little sister and me; 5. Take my dad to visit the most delicious restaurants all over the world, since he loves cooking (and eating); 6. Get a nice house back in Seoul, South Korea to live and a apartment on a very sunny place, like Hawaii, for vacation. 7. Buy myself my dream car, the Rolls Royce. 8. Pay for my siblings studies in full. And everything else they need. 9. Buy myself a studio for music producing. In order for me to work with my parents as they are passionate about that field (and so am I!) 10. Go backstage to meet all the artists I've ever wanted to meet and have VIP seats to watch them perform with my friends. Like, Shawn Mendes, Ariana, EXO, Ed Sheeran, etc.

Isabella

2018-08-28T15:27:29+00:00

Isabella

1. Buy myself a library (a big one); 2. Get a jet and visit all the countries I only ever dreamed to go and take my siblings with me; 3. Give a Royal Caribbean trip to my parents and a brand new house; 4. Go on a 10 days trip for the girls with ALL we could want included. Mom, grandma, little sister and me; 5. Take my dad to visit the most delicious restaurants all over the world, since he loves cooking (and eating); 6. Get a nice house back in Seoul, South Korea to live and a apartment on a very sunny place, like Hawaii, for vacation. 7. Buy myself my dream car, the Rolls Royce. 8. Pay for my siblings studies in full. And everything else they need. 9. Buy myself a studio for music producing. In order for me to work with my parents as they are passionate about that field (and so am I!) 10. Go backstage to meet all the artists I've ever wanted to meet and have VIP seats to watch them perform with my friends. Like, Shawn Mendes, Ariana, EXO, Ed Sheeran, etc.

Buy a truck full of ping pong balls and a Lamborghini.

1. Buy truck full of ping pong balls and a lamborghini. make a pile of ping-pong and drive through the pile with my lamborghini and record it with my just bought expensive ultra slow motion camera. 2. Make a remake of bruce lee's movie with ultra slow motion camera, and in that movie bruce lee will be slow and everyone will be fast. 3. I will pay super models to walk with me on red carpet in the Premier of my movie named 'The world where bruce lee was slow'. 4. I will gift an Iron man suit to Trump and war machine to Obama. 5. I will make a 40x40 feet chessboard and the each chess pieces will made of heavy 15kg metals. This game will be of brain and brawn. I will give 1 million pounds to the winner. And hire him as my body guard. 6. Build a 100 meters tall statue of myself, made of titanium...

Bijay

2018-08-28T15:26:23+00:00

Bijay

1. Buy truck full of ping pong balls and a lamborghini. make a pile of ping-pong and drive through the pile with my lamborghini and record it with my just bought expensive ultra slow motion camera. 2. Make a remake of bruce lee's movie with ultra slow motion camera, and in that movie bruce lee will be slow and everyone will be fast. 3. I will pay super models to walk with me on red carpet in the Premier of my movie named 'The world where bruce lee was slow'. 4. I will gift an Iron man suit to Trump and war machine to Obama. 5. I will make a 40x40 feet chessboard and the each chess pieces will made of heavy 15kg metals. This game will be of brain and brawn. I will give 1 million pounds to the winner. And hire him as my body guard. 6. Build a 100 meters tall statue of myself, made of titanium...

Complete my Pokemon Card collection

1. Complete my Pokemon Card collection, though I think it would be difficult... Including all the rare ones... Maybe up to £50000000. Hopefully it's not more, but with there being nearly 15000 types, with both English and Japanese versions... Phew. 2. Buy a yacht with crew to live on, who needs a house? £400000000 3. An island would be nice, but maintaining is too tedious, better to get a nice mansion with a natural waterfall, hill and forest behind for the family, with a car for each person. #tesla Maybe £450000000 to set up a self-sustaining ecosystem and hire staff for it in Japan or China. 4. I can finally buy all the games I want, with the best gaming rig ever #4k144fpsgaming #pcmasterrace £50000 5. Don't forget all the consoles I missed out on, never played PS3 or PS4, or Xbox before...

Danial

2018-08-28T15:59:42+00:00

Danial

1. Complete my Pokemon Card collection, though I think it would be difficult... Including all the rare ones... Maybe up to £50000000. Hopefully it's not more, but with there being nearly 15000 types, with both English and Japanese versions... Phew. 2. Buy a yacht with crew to live on, who needs a house? £400000000 3. An island would be nice, but maintaining is too tedious, better to get a nice mansion with a natural waterfall, hill and forest behind for the family, with a car for each person. #tesla Maybe £450000000 to set up a self-sustaining ecosystem and hire staff for it in Japan or China. 4. I can finally buy all the games I want, with the best gaming rig ever #4k144fpsgaming #pcmasterrace £50000 5. Don't forget all the consoles I missed out on, never played PS3 or PS4, or Xbox before...

Challenge Elon Musk to a Jager battle

1.) Challenge Elon Musk to a Jager battle. Who can make the best giant robot. 2.) Build a space station and host the first party in space. 3.) Hire Liechtenstein (€70,000 a night) and be King for 40 years. 4.) Buy a random Conference League football club, pack it with Premiership players and wreck the current football landscape. 5.) Pay the guy who does movie voice overs to follow me around and narrate my life. Backed by the London Philharmonic Orchestra. 6.) Hire U2, Oasis, Rolling Stones and Queen (remaining member) to play a charity concert but they must play in another band and they can't play their owm instruments (eg. Brian May must play drums in U2). 7.) Hire a giant speaker system to follow whoever the Prime Minister is and play "Liar Liar Pants on Fire" at full blast whenever they try to speak. 8.) Set up a prize of £1 million for each MP who can live on minimum wage for a year. 9.) Make a series of movies for all the TV shows that people wish had...

Alex

2018-08-28T16:00:41+00:00

Alex

1.) Challenge Elon Musk to a Jager battle. Who can make the best giant robot. 2.) Build a space station and host the first party in space. 3.) Hire Liechtenstein (€70,000 a night) and be King for 40 years. 4.) Buy a random Conference League football club, pack it with Premiership players and wreck the current football landscape. 5.) Pay the guy who does movie voice overs to follow me around and narrate my life. Backed by the London Philharmonic Orchestra. 6.) Hire U2, Oasis, Rolling Stones and Queen (remaining member) to play a charity concert but they must play in another band and they can't play their owm instruments (eg. Brian May must play drums in U2). 7.) Hire a giant speaker system to follow whoever the Prime Minister is and play "Liar Liar Pants on Fire" at full blast whenever they try to speak. 8.) Set up a prize of £1 million for each MP who can live on minimum wage for a year. 9.) Make a series of movies for all the TV shows that people wish had...

Buy a private island

10 Ways to Blow a Billion Pounds by Tahseen: 10. Buy a private island... and then turn it into a private country. Okay maybe country is an exaggeration but I could become the super awesome leader of a super developed micro-nation located just off the coast of the US if I bought Stella Ranch (just a little over 4000 acres) near Arizona for $6,950,000 and redeveloped it into a livable island. Of course I would have to fall in the legal guidelines of the US but who doesn’t want (pretend) to run their own country? Getting people to live there is as simple as running and marketing a sweepstakes to “Own a house on the island of Stella Ranch” and picking several winning families. Let’s say in total everything costs around £250,000,000. 9. Host a pizza party with enough pizzas to form the “Leaning tower of Pizza” With size like that, it would probably need to be marketed as a pizza party for the whole nation, but I digress. The leaning tower of Pisa is 191 feet tall...

Tahseen

2018-08-28T15:58:18+00:00

Tahseen

10 Ways to Blow a Billion Pounds by Tahseen: 10. Buy a private island... and then turn it into a private country. Okay maybe country is an exaggeration but I could become the super awesome leader of a super developed micro-nation located just off the coast of the US if I bought Stella Ranch (just a little over 4000 acres) near Arizona for $6,950,000 and redeveloped it into a livable island. Of course I would have to fall in the legal guidelines of the US but who doesn’t want (pretend) to run their own country? Getting people to live there is as simple as running and marketing a sweepstakes to “Own a house on the island of Stella Ranch” and picking several winning families. Let’s say in total everything costs around £250,000,000. 9. Host a pizza party with enough pizzas to form the “Leaning tower of Pizza” With size like that, it would probably need to be marketed as a pizza party for the whole nation, but I digress. The leaning tower of Pisa is 191 feet tall...

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